What Is a Small Wedding? (And Should You Have One?)

If you've been researching wedding options and keep running into terms like "elopement," "micro wedding," and "intimate wedding," you're not alone in wondering what actually separates them — or what officially counts as a "small" wedding in the first place. Here's a clear breakdown of the definitions, the terms, and the real reasons couples choose to go small.

I'm Morgan Childs. I used to plan celebrity weddings, and for the last decade-plus, I've been completely focused on small weddings — and rewriting the rules around them.

What Officially Counts as a Small Wedding?

For over 10 years, my definition has stayed consistent: a small wedding is 30 guests or fewer. A regular, traditional wedding is 50 guests or above. That gap between 30 and 50 is a bit of a gray area — if you're sitting right on that line, 40 guests is a reasonable middle marker to keep in mind.

Why does that number matter? Because groups of people function differently depending on size. There's a different energy, different expectations, and a genuinely different experience depending on whether you're hosting 25 people or 150. After 20 years of watching how people behave at events, the difference between a small gathering and a large one isn't subtle — it changes the entire day.

Elopement vs. Micro Wedding vs. Intimate Wedding: What's the Difference?

A lot of the terminology around small weddings — micro wedding, elopement, intimate wedding, "minimoon-y" — actually became popular starting in 2020. Before that, the wedding industry mostly used one term: elopement, defined simply as a wedding of 30 guests or fewer that skips the traditional format (no reception, no dancing, no cocktail hour) in favor of total freedom to do whatever you want after the ceremony.

Micro weddings, by contrast, tend to keep more of the traditional wedding elements — just scaled down. Think a small guest list with a seated dinner, table decor, and a cocktail hour — essentially a smaller version of a traditional wedding rather than a reimagined one.

Elopement remains the more free-form option, where couples can structure the day however they want. Some people insist an elopement means just the couple, with no guests at all — and that's a valid way to use the term too. There's no official, industry-wide rulebook here, but after a decade-plus in small weddings, these are the general lines most planners use.

Why Do Couples Choose a Small Wedding?

Budget is the number one reason, by far. Fewer guests means lower costs across nearly every category of the day.

Wanting something non-traditional is a close second. Many couples don't want to replicate the wedding their parents had — they want a destination, an Airbnb, a rented house for the weekend, a boat, a helicopter, even a mountain climb. A smaller guest list makes those kinds of experiences realistic.

Avoiding family dynamics is another major factor. A smaller wedding gives couples more control over who's actually part of the day, which can sidestep complicated family situations entirely.

Wanting full control over spending matters too. Some couples want every detail of the day to be exactly what they envisioned — all the special touches, nothing cut for budget — and a smaller guest count makes that level of detail achievable.

Travel plays a role as well. If you're eloping to a destination, a smaller group naturally follows, and travel costs often become part of what would've otherwise gone toward a bigger guest list.

Not wanting to be the center of attention is more common than people assume — including same-sex couples, interracial couples, and couples navigating different religious circumstances who simply don't want a large, traditional celebration built around them.

Is a Small Wedding Right for You?

Whether it's budget, a desire for something different, family dynamics, or simply wanting an experience that feels entirely like yours, a small wedding gives you more freedom to shape your day around what actually matters to you and your partner.

Ready to start planning? The Modern Wed Club gives you real-time access to a wedding planner throughout your entire planning process — whether you're drawn to an elopement, a micro wedding, or anything in between.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the official definition of a small wedding?
A small wedding is generally considered 30 guests or fewer, while a regular, traditional wedding is 50 guests or above. If your guest count falls between those numbers, 40 is a reasonable middle marker to go by.

What's the difference between an elopement and a micro wedding?
An elopement typically skips traditional wedding elements like a reception, dancing, or cocktail hour, giving couples full freedom in how they structure the day. A micro wedding keeps more traditional elements — like a seated dinner or cocktail hour — just with a much smaller guest list.

Does an elopement have to mean just the couple?
Not necessarily. While some people define elopement strictly as just the couple with no guests, industry usage over the past decade has generally included small gatherings of 30 or fewer under that same term. There's no single formal rule.

What's the biggest reason couples choose a small wedding?
Budget is the number one reason. Fewer guests directly lowers costs across nearly every part of the wedding, freeing up money for other priorities.

Can a small wedding still feel special and detailed?
Yes — many couples choose a smaller guest list specifically so they can afford more detail and polish in the elements that matter most to them, rather than spreading a budget thin across a large guest count.

Ready to Plan a Small Wedding That's Actually Yours?

However you got here — budget, family drama, wanting something different, or just knowing deep down that a big traditional wedding isn't for you — one thing is true: your wedding day should feel like your day. Not your parents', not the industry's, not anyone else's.

That's exactly what the Modern Wed Club is for. Whether you're planning an elopement, a micro wedding, or something in between, you get real-time access to a wedding planner who helps you build a day that's beautiful, meaningful, and effortless — with all the advice, guidance, and know-how you need to actually pull it off, without the price tag of a full-time planner.

Ready to get started? Join the club.